GCC vs. Wokingham Chestnuts (honest)

By Tom Hedge. Verbatim.

(Do we have a trained  English teacher to correct and mark it?)

They put themselves in and gave us a juniors ball with no seam to bowl with which was nice. Ferry and I opened up and got pumped to all parts of the ground by some quality Wokingham opening batsmen. Following this initial 10 over spell of despondency the captain had a eureka moment and promptly brought on Aussie rascal Alex Withers to bowl. He proceeded to trap both openers with uber-filth deliveries, one a shin high full toss LB and the other a looping long hop sliced to mid-off where Winkers broke into full sweat as he covered a half yard to pouch. Donny Norman came steaming in at the other end and took leg stump clean out of the ground- undoubtedly the highlight of the day. The match started as 40 overs per side but then was reduced to 30 and then 20 half way through the innings as the weather took a turn for the worse and the players on both sides became less arsed. They reached 125ish off their 20 before we all retired for tea.

We resumed with Winkers and Crunchy opening. The oppo skipper decided to change the ball for one with a seam at half-time which was most accommodating. The Goring openers valiantly resisted a barrage of filth and utter spadge (citation needed) in an opening partnership of 80 plus off 9 before the Gods took pity on the spectacle and sent down a glut of rain that finished things off. We were all washed back up the Thames by the storm and deposited in the Soashe where we saw England give Johnny Foreigner a right good thrashing- pants down, six of the best.


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Off Side Maestro on May 17, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    This report bares little resemblance to the game. The opposition bowlers were gas and the ball, in the hands of some real cricketers, was doing all sorts. Wincott ran 25+ yards to take a stupendours diving-full-length catch.


  2. Posted by Tinky can't be arsed! on May 17, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    The second sentence is fairly accurate apart from some utterly dire fielding from all concerned and a massive pog on after only the second over from “Crunchy” (possibly due to breaking a nail trying to get his hand out the way from a ball).


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