Here Come The Girls

This is serious now. Women are subscribing to Upswinger, following @Upswinger on Twitter- and – dare I say it – coming to watch us play. Get ready – I apologise in advance – but you might want to start thinking about answers to these questions for Saturday;

  • “Who’s winning?”
  • “Did you do any runs?”
  • “Have you batted already then?”
  • “Can I have a go?”
  • “Why does it go on so long?”
  • “When is Jamie Vic getting here?”
  • “Do you have to wait until the very end?”
  • “Which one is Hainsey then?”
  • “Why if it hits your legs are you out?”
  • “What happens after tea then?”
  • “Why do you play cricket at the weekends? We never get to see each other.”
  • “Wouldn’t you rather spend time with me and the kids?”
  • “Why does Tom let them hit it to the boundary?”
  • “Can I come on cricket tour?”
  • “Can’t you just play on Sunday?”
  • “Why do you need such a big cricket box?”
  • “Why do they call him Pussy?”


In a disturbing development, it appears that GCC will now be forced to cater for the “female element” at this Saturday’s fixture. This will not only involve ensuring the facilities are up to scratch but that everything will now be politically correct and female friendly – our language, the website etc. Everything.

Try using a tennis ball

The GCC Committee is quickly rallying round to get ready for the arrival of a load of birds for this Saturday’s home game against West Reading. Still, at least we know that the tea things will be washed up nicely and put away, and the tea cloths presumably ironed. With a small thoroughfare on Upper Red Cross Road, we will probably need to provide assistance with parking too. Note: You might want to park you own car at the bottom of the recreation ground (in Streatley).

Already, Toby Tomlinson has interviewed the Big Issue Lady from outside of Londis as to what chicks “dig” in particular to make their visit a success. In preparing for the onslaught we have already;

  1. Bought some Londis “Feel the Difference” 2-ply toilet paper for the female bogs, none of that cheap rubbish
  2. Found the pink medium-sized marigolds (in Andy’s kit bag) for when they wash up
  3. Put up a poster of Justin Bieber
  4. Delivered clear, written directions and a map for how to find the ground
  5. Arranged a shopping trip during tea
  6. Hooked up a “Sex and The City” video to Dave Illingworth’s Fat Screen TV
  7. Employed a Mind Reader to find out exactly what else they want

Finally, it seems we should NOT expect any of them to get their norks out on the day, however. Sorry to bring you that bad news.

So – Good Luck. But especially, good luck to me. All I will get is “What did you mean by that Hainsey bit?”


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Dunc on May 21, 2010 at 2:32 pm

    Regarding our three new tea ladies.

    The minutes from the last GCC committee meeting regarding the issue of Sunday teas state:

    Teas: Action: TH to contact potential tea makers (eg Goring WI).

    Well done Tom!


  2. Posted by Off Side Maestro on May 21, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    Great to see the club turning its back on gender sterotyping. Check out the following to see some AAA piece of kit along with a bat, pads and some stumps .


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