With Sunday’s Scorcher and T20/Football/T20 almost upon us, it’s time to reveal the players selected by Jim Ross to be politely gifted two wins this weekend thanks to GCC. Play starts at 12 precisely!!! Presidents Team to arrive at Cleeve Road by 1030am.
Jim Ross – President and therefore Captain
Likes to put himself in at number 4 or 5 as hundreds are unlikely but flashy chance filled 50s are a possibility. Described these days as someone who used to be a bowler.
Graham Nicholson – Overseas Batsman, Nicaraguan resident
Brilliantly talented and likeable individual. Likely to turn up on a skateboard, play in black trainers, a denim jacket and score a hundred with a ping pong bat saying he couldn’t find his Gray Nicolls David Gower autograph. Do not speak to him if you are going through any kind of counselling for lack of self worth, otherwise ensure you do.
Jon Armitage – Batsman
Utterly dependable team player, a Captain’s dream. Will field anywhere in the slips and make tea for guests all afternoon. Also extremely likely to do well as has seen it all before and can rely on highly polished ability. Actually looks for the seam stitching when batting.
Eddie Ross – Overseas Batsman, Spanish resident
Nepotistic selection. Historical promise as a wicketkeeper and opening batsman for Whitchurch and Woolhampton. Guaranteed enthusiasm and interesting kitbag. These days would probably feel happier in a padda-tennis court.
Andy Ankerson – Bats-a-bit-bowls-a-bit, breakfast provider
If Nicholson and Ankerson both succeed then 400 is on the cards! Intelligent, humour filled GCC hero who seems to have days that consist of 34 hours.If you want anything done well you turn to Andy, so expect to see him early in the batting order or warming up the golden arm when wickets needed.
Stephen Haines – Batsman
Destroyer of many sightscreens due to spirit level straight hitting ability. Perhaps the most genial member of the team unless offered a hot beverage or an egg sandwich. Short leg specialist due to sixth sense catching ability but strangely almost guaranteed to spill a skier on the boundary. A real team man and first on your list.
Jimmy Lennox – Batsman, Off-spinner, Team Medic
Another lovely guy that rates extremely high on all round natural ability. Will turn up with his grandfather’s pads saying he hasn’t played for years and then flick his second ball into the lock-keeper’s hanging basket off the opposition’s main strike bowler. Exudes grace and will stitch up your bleeding hand when you’ve tried to stop one of his cover drives.
Ben Hunt – Batsman
President’s old school cricket captain. Always had the best parties as he actually knew girls and they liked him. Must have cupboards full of cricket equipment at home due to being presented with so much for batting and bowling achievement, hence a great deal expected here.
Doug Sarney – Wicketkeeper Batsman
Ambidextrous batsman so switch-hit specialist. Always discusses his twenty year old handmade bat’s lovely middle when it is yet to be found by anybody else. Guaranteed wicket if the opposition send out a young umpire to do square leg due to terrifying appealing ability. Enthusiasm is wonderfully infectious.
Graham Lunt – Strike Bowler
Very polite, intelligent man who puts on his kit and becomes an avid stump hater. Will consistently uproot them when bowling and then looks like he is still trying to destroy them when batting. Important member of the team as one of only two who can bowl over 25mph.
Tim Brammer – Pace Bowler
“Nice guy Tim” – Introduced to daughters by mothers across the globe. Has just been to Australia so his Aussie twang should strike fear into the opposition. Will bowl all day with Graham in different disguises and under different names. So dependable, has never been known to drop a catch.
Michael Goodenough “G” – Overseas Bats-a-bit-bowls-a-bit, Holland resident
Infamous GCC member. Say you play for GCC anywhere in the solar system and you will be asked if you know Mickey G. Was made an honourary life member of the Soashe aged 14. Nobody has ever been disappointed to see him. Will take wickets with renowned upswinger delivery whilst scratching his ear with his back leg.