Golf Day News

“Friday weather: Fine initially in the east, but cloud and outbreaks of rain will spread eastwards through the day, probably reaching London around lunchtime. Temperatures around normal with moderate southerly winds”.


  1. Turn up at least 10 mins before your tee time. No need to report to club house just go to the first tee.
  2. To wear correct gear (see dress code on Upswinger golf day page)
  3. Bring lots of money for hot food and cold beers on the balcony after the game
  4. To avoid slow play to “pick up” once they have taken so many shots that they are not going to score any points.
  5. Need someone who understands staple/stableford to sort out the scoring mess at the end – volunteers please?


2:44pm Jim Ross Jon Armitage
  Toby Tomlinson Andy Ankerson
2:52pm Matt Hodges Mike Edwards
  Steve Wincott Tim Brammer
3:00pm Jamie Vickery TBA
  Doug Sarney Chris Venning
3:08pm Duncan Kent Paul Miller
  Jonny Russell Colin Grant
3:16pm Clive Everitt Neil Evans
  Jonny Westcar Tony Breakspear
3:24pm Simon Butterfield Tim Skinner
  Kenza Barton William Denselow
3:32pm Nick Parris Gary King
  David Lewis Adam Donald


Tiger Woods has sensationally been denied a wildcard spot in the inaugural GCC Golf Day on Friday. Woods is desperately out of form and in his agent’s words “in need of some swingin’ action” and had seen Jamie Vic’s plea for a partner at The Springs this week.

A disappointed Woods said, “I’m shocked. Jamie and I share a few things in common, if you know what I mean, you know, neither of us play cricket, we don’t live in Goring, etc. He needs some company right now. I could bring him some, erm, “friends” along, you know, all very hush hush, no names, just say some companionship as I call it – or maybe even consider them as Caddies? He’s a great player – I’ve seen him, but he needs improvement and that support that a ‘Caddy’ can provide, to tidy up a little, look the part, clean his club a little, you see? Perhaps wash his dirty balls whilst playing ‘the back nine’ .”

Event organiser, Duncan Kent, was less than impressed with the approach from Woods – “Another Cheetah would be just one too many” said Kent. “We’ve already got Ross and Armitage Snr playing off 18 each. Add in Edwards off 18, plus Butterfield who only last month whilst on teur was claiming to play off single figures but who now says he’s also an 18 handicapper, and we already have more than 75% of the worlds remaining Cheetahs in one place! I just thank God that Pete Slade is on holiday this week. The last time he played golf on cricket teur he scored 51 Stableford and it nearly caused a riot. Anyone scoring more than 40 Stableford tomorrow is going to need a big wallet as it will be their round at the bar all night” concluded Kent.



2 responses to this post.

  1. I have no friends.


  2. Posted by Mystery Man.... on August 5, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    Check your wanted ad big boy…


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