Kate Middleton :: Bucklebury (Bike) Tours

Despite this photographic evidence, Middleton denied ever dating Carrier

A coach firm is operating tours of Kate Middleton’s home village in Berkshire ahead of the Royal Wedding. In addition, another firm will be running a similar tour of the pretty Oxfordshire Thameside village of Goring…on-Thames, where one time Bucklebury resident and ex GCC bowler Ollie Carrier plays his cricket each summer.

The trip, which takes in the sights of Goring, shows gullible passengers local sights including the 20-something-year-old’s local Social Club, Carrier’s most favoured Indian restaurant (Masooms) and the gaff belonging to that George Michaels bloke.

Tour operator and local taxi/stunt driver Mad Murdoch said there had been interest from companies in Cleeve, Cheltenham and one young man in Malaysia for the tours of what has been called “Carrier Country”.

Murdoch plans to hire the very same double decker ‘open-top’ bus that will be used by the Bucklebury Tour company. The Goring tour is scheduled to take place AFTER the Royal Wedding, with Murdoch having to emblazon the bus with Carrier’s name, replacing the original sign saying “Kate Middleton Topless Tours” (that should get our Google hits up somewhat…).

Miss Middleton will marry Prince William on 29 April in London. Ollie Carrier is not married, but open to offers, it would appear.

Best Man? Prince Harry's impression of his father was Carrier's favourite by far.

 Should Carrier’s career (nice alliteration – Ed) take off in cricket (i.e. he doesn’t get married/have children/drink/smoke or work at Direct Wines) and he plays in an Ashes team and averages 9 with the bat and England win the series, he is still unlikely to get an MBE from Buckingham Palace. Carrier famously, and unfairly (and allegedly – for treason reasons (nice…) once described our Queen-To-Be as the “Bucklebury Bike” – after she shunned his advances when offering a night at GCC’s Annual AGM Meeting (18th March, 8pm, Tha Soashe, Goring, #justsayin).

 

 

Carrier was unavailable for comment as it was 11:43 am when I wrote this and being a student he wasn’t out of (someone else’s?) bed yet. It is expected that he will insist on royalties (far too good…- Ed – … in fact so much so that it had to be pointed out in case Cholsey CC read this) from the tour to pay off his ever increasing Indoor Nets subs.

 

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