GCC Batsman Comes Out

The Goring CC batsman, Andy Ankerson, has announced he is crap – becoming the first GCC cricketer to publicly “crap” himself.


The thirty-twelve-year-old Goring player said he had decided to make the announcement after months of personal conflict.

In a frank and moving interview with The Goring Gap News, Ankerson, who started his cricketing career in Graham Nicholson’s back garden when he was 16, said he could no longer bear to lie about his ability.

Ankerson, who told his family he was crap five years ago and has enjoyed their complete support, said it was a huge relief to finally come clean and be honest with the wider public.

“I’m comfortable with how I am – and happy to say how bad I am in public,” Ankerson said.

And he said he hoped his decision would help other crap cricketers to have the confidence to follow in his footsteps.

He explained: “This is the right time for me…I feel it is right to be out in the open about my ability. If more people do it, the more acceptable it will become. That must be a good thing.

“To speak out is a massive relief for me, but if I can just help one person to deal with their ability then that’s all I care about.”

He said he dreaded 1st XI league cricket because he was forced to conceal an important part of his game from his team-mates.

Ankerson decided to confide in his Goring colleagues after being called up for the recent cricket tour to Devon.

Ankerson’s decision to “crap” himself comes two years in advance of Goring United FC’s Reserve Team going public about their lack of ability.


Where do you stand on this issue? In today’s world, should we really care? Does it really matter if you are crap or not? Please add your comments below.


6 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Dave Illingworth on February 28, 2011 at 10:13 am

    I’m crap too – phew what a relief..From Anon (or not if my name is automatically published when I respond to this)


  2. Apparently 1 in 10 GCC cricketers are crap.


  3. Posted by Dave Illingworth on February 28, 2011 at 10:14 am

    Crap – my name was published. Crap Crap Crap


  4. Posted by Offside Maestro on February 28, 2011 at 10:15 am

    “88.2% of statistics are made up” (C) Vic Reeves


  5. Posted by Jim Ross on February 28, 2011 at 10:16 am

    Oh Andy, don’t worry, we all knew all along.


  6. OK – the 2nd GCC player to publicly crap himself – after Colin, outside The Globe, Chumleigh, Devon circa 1991.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: