Wincott Delivers “Growth” Budget

Winkers heads for Tha Soashe with his weekly quota of fruit machine cash

Goring CC Treasurer, Stephen Wincott has delivered his Annual Budget to Committee members, committing funds for the continued growth of the Club.

No Added Duty on Fuel

Despite initial fears of a price hike in match fees due to the lack of a qualified Tea Lady, The Treasurer was pleased to point that now was not the time to increase fees.

“Match fees will remain at the same level as 2010”, reported Wincott, “Teas are our fuel – we need plenty of food at tea for running threes and chasing the ball around the outfield. So I have been told.”

Boundary Tax

“Bringing in the boundary by 10 metres will not only allow even more centuries for me – but give the others a chance to get into double figures” said Wincott, who went on to say, “However, in doing this, I also propose adding a “Boundary Tax” to the playing staff’s annual subscriptions. The smaller boundary will encourage new players to play – and stay – once they realise how easy amassing runs at Goring can be” said a confident, yet boyish-looking, Wincott.

Shirt Tax

“We have more shirts than Man United”, said a clearly frustrated Wincott, “And buying them all is hampering my fruit machine wedge. As such, and as an interim measure only, I propose players pay 1p on every new shirt bought – with profits going to me. I know my fellow committee members are right behind me on this shirt tax implementation, and I fully expected it to be lifted in due course.”

First-Time Players

Wincott pledged more support for the many expected first time players at the Club this season. “Years ago, if they didn’t have an accent from the Southern hemisphere – or claimed merely to ‘bat a bit and bowl a bit’ – we didn’t care about them. This can’t go on. New players to Goring Cricket Club will be welcomed with open arms. Especially if they are Irish.”



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