Upswinger Article? “Puns, Tickets and Snatches”

The stats on play-cricket have at last been brought up to date.

Pls make changes as you see fit to below but don’t make it less funny as per usual. Have added some pictures which may be if use.

Stephen Wincott


With Hedgey his pulling his finger out and getting the stats loaded up, the bones of this season’s efforts can at last be picked over by the GCC stats buzzards. Here are some of this season’s current lowlights.

Heading the hunt for the Will Quackakrishnan Duck Award are Jonny Russell and Matt Norman with a half dozen each. They are closely followed by Winkers with five (“Percentage-wise its not too bad really”) and 1st team bunnies Pete Slade and Kenza Barton with four each. Other noteworthy batting stats include Donny Norman’s 14 runs in 13 games.

Leading the charge for the Most Improved Player award is Tom Ferry who has exceeded all expectations this season by holding a catch (his first since June 20, 2009 – a run of more than 30 matches). Other nominations include Will Smith who tops the much admired dismissed-LBW chart (Sponsored by Cathedral City) with 50% of his innings ending plumb in front of middle, halfway up, on the back-foot.

Bowling wise, Donny Norman will be looking to bring his strike rate down from its current 89 (gulp) deliveries per wicket, whilst Kenza Barton will have to pull out all the stops in the last 3 games if he is too reach his season-end target of 100 wickets (currently 34).

Once again, we will be presenting the awards at GCC’s Annual Dinner Dance to be held at The Beetle and Wedge in Mouldyford on Friday 11th November (tickets available from Duncan). Added to the fact that we have a new President this year to bore us with the usual alcohol-induced incoherent ramblings it should be a great evening.


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Jim Ross on September 1, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    Sometimes Upswinger goes too far: President to “bore us with the usual alcohol-induced incoherent ramblings” will achieve nothing but to upset Keith Grant.


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