Olympic Torch Ignites Goring!

Amid euphoric scenes, the London 2012 Olympic Torch visited the sleepy thameside village of Goring (on Thames) this morning. With the Olympics (like BBC’s “Superstars”, but without the famous people in it),  just weeks away, tens of people turned out in the Jubilee-esque rain to see the Torch travel down the High Street, through the centre of the village and over the bridges towards St. Reatley (where, sensibly, it received a Police escort).

[Artists Impression]

At around 10:07am, the crowds gasped as they spotted the recently honoured Lord Bridle of Goring jogging over the railway bridge in his trademark red water-proof poncho and Union Jack (plastic) Bowler hat (purchased from Inspirations/Fotoplay in the arcade); heading down the gentle slope to The Soashe. It was at this point, just by that Social Club sign for the short-sighted, that the Torch was handed over to Goring Cricket Club’s very own Mr. Stephen Wincott, just before 10:10am. Mr. Wincott’d had the pleasure of beating off both other GCC applicants for this historic opportunity to represent the Club as Torch Bearer, much to the delight of himself.

With the GCC-branded Torch (courtesy of “Pimp My Torch”), Wincott, who nearly missed the arrival of Lord Bridle due to a massive 14 Nudges he got on the Soashe fruit machine moments earlier, set off on his historic “run” from the Social Club all the way down to Masooms – Torch in one hand, pint of Amstel in the other – WITHOUT STOPPING (or spilling a drop).

“It was amazing! It’s a route that I have done once or twice in the past, but normally at 11 o clock at night, not 11 in the morning!” said an uncharacteristically optimistic Wincott – who even had the nerve to play (and miss) a cover drive with the Torch (see photo).

Olympic Uber-Fan, young Master Jonny Russell, was there for the event. “Bloody brilliant. I love the Olympics. I have tickets, you know. Do you know anyone that wants to swap men’s qualifying round sailing for 100m final tickets?“, adding, “To do that obviously takes a lot of guts – Winkers is the Man! He’s been training on that route for over 10 years now, starting even before London was selected as the host city for 2012! Who knew?!”

At around 10:55, upon reaching Masooms, an emotionally and physically exhausted Wincott handed the Torch on to its next recipient, The Big Issue Lady (whilst she shifted a few dozen copies of the July issue, based on her new found fame) to carry the Torch down to Goring Lock to hand over to the Goring United FC Goalkeeper (who promptly dropped it), before heading off to St. Reatley where it was collected by someone who worked at The Swan and once met Danny La Rue (Academy – see Wikipedia).

Rumours that Wincott’s Torch was on eBay by 11:20am are unconfirmed at this time. Other sources suggest he was considering swapping for an iPad since his back catalogue was “now available electronically”.


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Offside Maestro on July 11, 2012 at 9:51 am

    That is not a cover drive


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